“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” - Oprah Winfrey
Making mistakes is human. We are all human beings with flaws. When two people get angry, each person is hurt by the other and would like to receive an apology.
Unfortunately, a lot of people believe that by saying that they hurt the other person they "lose." So, both sides do not apologize, and mutual resentment continues forever.
It's important to remember that by apologizing and admitting that you hurt the other person, you don't lose. You win and the other person does too.
What is forgiveness, then? Forgiveness is often misunderstood.
For example, forgiveness means being vulnerable, not demanding justice, excusing unacceptable conduct or causing yourself to be badly treated. It is none of those things!
If significant enough, negative events can get encoded in memory and often cause us to have physical reactions to remembering the painful experience.
From the perspective of grudging psychological research, an "imagined emotional response" is deemed. This would mean that one has to fuel the negative emotions to sustain them for a long time to come.
For example, vengeful feelings that embellish and characterize the incident with scorn only exacerbate bodily perception and emotional imagery. Forgiveness means giving up feeling resentment about someone or something.
Learning that you can restore your self-esteem is very rewarding. Every day, you will wake up without reliving the past, even if you will not forget it.
Nevertheless, there is research that shows the will for vengeance to be greater than empathic motivation in some cases.
Interventions such as bringing insight into empathetic sensitivity will help us conquer anger and resentment.
This cultivation of empathy involves the connection between oneself and the offender to the common humanity, as well as attempting to see the situation from the perspective of the other person and trying to understand what might have contributed to the behavior that caused one harm.
Some claim that the knowledge of reconciliation will develop empathy early on. As internal turmoil happens in maturity. If it has never been done before, it may be difficult to find our path to redemption.
It is very much like challenging someone to run a marathon without practice. Some agree that at a young age children and adolescents should begin to learn what redemption is and how to forgive.
Teaching forgiveness is particularly important in helping to reduce anger in children who have suffered enough injustice that compromises their emotional health.
Forgiveness can also help students to build healthy and meaningful relationships now and later as adults without creating conflict and frustration. Ultimately, reconciliation will play a big part in how cultures flourish as people start seeing the inherent value of others more profoundly.
It is necessary to foster empathy because heinous crimes are committed in a fit of anger in which a brief moment will alter the course of many lives. People whose lives are affected by these crimes may not be able to forgive, thereby leading to heightened resentment and anger around the world.
The message of the Dalai Lama in his book Healing Anger, sees human ability to inflict harm on oneself and others as part of human nature, where some individuals are more prone to it than others. He states that there are certain acts of violence perpetrated out of negligence or carelessness. Circumstances are prompting others, too, all of which are viewed as being outside a person's control when it comes to one's physiological, emotional or circumstantial circumstances. In light of this perspective, he suggests holding it against those who hurt themselves or injure others becomes pointless.
The value and benefits of forgiveness are obvious and start with us. Self-forgiveness is an important aspect of one's ability to forgive others and can be a gateway to a fuller and more loving life.
Forgiving means exercising goodness even towards those who are not good to you. Forgiveness may perhaps be the most heroic of all the moral virtues. I say it's heroic, because which other moral virtue offers to see goodness to the one who caused that pain through one's own pain?
Do you that the noble essence of salvation as you apply it to others? Are you willing to forgive, or not?
You may be or may not be but remember that forgiveness is not a process that needs to be rushed. You will know when the time is right to forgive, and it will be the greatest feeling in th