Recently, it has been weighing on my mind just how hard we humans are on ourselves. We look in a mirror and pick out every minuscule flaw that we hate about ourselves.
We beat ourselves up over our mistakes and we stay in the “I’m a failure” mindset for way too long. We tend to overlook all our achievements and things that we should be proud of because we don’t think we are worthy of the praise.
I am guilty of all these things. I suffer severely from imposter syndrome and sometimes I try to convince myself that I am where I am today due to sheer luck. It’s taken me years to realize how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am now, and to realize that I deserve these great things.
However, I find it that comforting that the way we see ourselves is vastly different than the way that others see us. It’s beyond easy to talk down to yourself and point out traits that you hate.
Maybe you hate your smile, your hair, your body or your laugh. You could also hate how terrible you might believe you’re at reading, writing, math or public speaking.
It’s hard to understand that all these small issues that we dislike about ourselves are often seen as something completely different in someone else’s eyes. While you hate your smile or your laugh, someone else could be praying that one day they will be as happy as you seem.
While you dwell on how terrible you believe you’re at writing, someone else might be wishing that they could pull words together half as nicely as you do. For every single thing that you hate about yourself or that you wish was different, someone else loves and admires you for it.
We allow these things that we hate about ourselves to consume us. We think about them every day and how we can change them. A trait that I have always wished that I could master is confidence.
I’ve always wondered what it might be like to radiate confidence and to fully love everything that I am.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always beaten myself up for being overly self-conscious of myself. I’ve always over-analyzed the way that I look and the way that other people see myself.
It had never crossed my mind that I might even possibly come across as confident until I came to college. I’ve had several people tell me that I come off as confident upon meeting them.
This totally changed what I thought about myself and my confidence. I always told myself that I get “awkward” around people and that they can see how nervous that I am while talking to them.
Hearing that I come across as “confident,” as little as it may seem, changed my outlook on the way that I am perceived. It made me understand that no one else, other than myself, is examining every trait that I dislike about myself.
There are always going to be people who love the things that you hate about yourself, and in that, I find peace.